Brains can suck sometimes
I mean the title says it all. I have always been an anxious guy. Even when I was young, it mostly manifested in social anxiety. At that point, what was there to really be anxious about anyways? Life was simple. The trouble is, this anxious mindset doesn't translate very well into adulthood where things become a lot more serious. I've finally come to terms with my anxiety with the help of medication (there's no shame in it, guys).
For the majority of my childhood I had high blood pressure issues. It wasn't too bad at first, but progressively got worse and worse, to the point where my parents took me to the hospital because my readings were high and I "thought" I was having a heart attack. Now, my readings were sometimes north of 180/100, which is terrifying for sure, but I got used to the feeling of when my blood pressure was high and it became normal. I even had a 24 hour test done and was recommended medication. I denied this thinking I just had to exercise more and over a summer between grade 11 and 12 I reduced it by regularly working out. When I stopped, it rebounded. I was at a loss.
Fast forward to 2019: I was living in Edmonton, living with my wonderful girlfriend (now fiance), and still struggling with blood pressure and anxiety. I was talking to my girlfriend about it, and she suggested maybe it had to do with my anxiety to begin with. I went to my doctor and he concluded that I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder or GAD. At this point, he had a hunch. My doctor put me on another 24 hour blood pressure monitor, and I was sure this was a waste of time. However, what he noticed was that when I am asleep and not conscious (AKA always anxious) my readings were very much normal. With this, I was put on medication.
Fast forward again to 2020, despite the global pandemic, I am less anxious and my blood pressure issue is seemingly resolved! Now my goal is to learn to manage my anxiety to help out the medication and maybe even ease off of it. The point of this is that when you're feeling down or worried, there might be a reason behind it and talking to a health professional can be vital in getting to the root of the issue. There is no shame in having an anxiety disorder or depression and there is certainly no shame in using medication to dig yourself out of that mental hole you're in. If anyone going through anxiety or depression has questions or just wants someone to chat with, feel free to reach out at email@example.com.